Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Pitch Perfect Tina Fey

Good golly, go out of town for just a few days, and miss this one. Thank goodness for the Internets storing all that "live" television on digital. Queen Latifa and Tina Fey go to town in last week's Saturday Night Live opening skit:

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It's hard to justify being "for" this woman

We at Lesbians For Sarah Palin are finding ourselves increasingly struggling to be "for" Sarah Palin. Despite her eye-candy cuteness, she simply lacks ... the brain. The whole librarian look is clearly a false front. What lives beneath the mask, I guess we'll never know. Because performances like this bizarre interview with Katie Couric pretty much ensure derailment of this Republican ticket.

And to think we thought it would take a scandal to bring down this woman! She's bringing down herself! Too bad, really, that this is the most high profile woman in politics (or anything else) right now. Too bad we'll all be logging into the debates on Thursday just to see if she can actually make MORE of an ass of herself than she did in this interview. (And yes, this is the real Sarah Palin, not an actress making fun of her.)

Of course, TINA FEY would be a wonderful replacement. She certainly knows how to learn her lines quickly and do some improv. So for a comparison -- and in the event you want to vote for the Woman Who Plays Sarah Palin on TV -- here is the absolutely dead-ringer imitation of the Queen of Alaska.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Gina, Get Your Gun

Gina Gershon isn't a lesbian, but if you've ever seen "Bound," you know she plays one so well that she might as well be an honorary member of the sisterhood. That's one reason Lesbians For Sarah Palin was so tickled to see her playing our favorite politic-ho in this GREAT video found on Funny or Die. Another reason is that Gina takes off her clothes! Yummy, yummy....
See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die

Sunday, September 21, 2008

About Lesbians for Sarah Palin*

Bubba remains concerned that I've not made it clear enough to readers that this site is not advocating that anyone VOTE for Sarah Palin. "Yes, she's hot, but a qualified VP she's not," would be Bubba's motto if she were the one writing and updating this fair blog. But she's not. So the qualifiers and caveats are my responsibility. Thus:

Frankly, I think it's pretty damn obvious that Lesbians For Sarah Palin is an homage to what is WRONG with our political system. Just the idea that any self-respecting lesbian might actually vote for a whacked-out, anti-gay, anti-choice creationist Christian fundamentalist seems so anathema to common sense and human decency that I don't think it needs to be said quite as explicitly as that. But there you have it anyway.

The raison d'etre for Lesbians For Sarah Palin is simple: The crazy lady known as Sarah Palin is the hottest-looking, most scrumptious naughty-librarian ideologue to stroll across the political stage in ALL OF AMERICAN HISTORY. Lesbians everywhere have swollen clits for this gal in glasses who seems to play butch just as swell as she plays femme. WHAT IS A QUEER GIRL TO DO if not get a little horny over the whole sordid thing?

It also presents an opportunity to play mind games with the right-wingers, as well as make a complete mockery of how gender is being USED by the Republicans to manipulate culturally shallow and politically anesthetized middle American voters. It's the queer way of saying something that needs to be said.

Why the hell would lesbians be for Sarah Palin? For the same damn idiotic reason ANYONE ELSE would be for Sarah Palin!

Eye candy. That's it; that's all. It's not like she has other qualifications.

So the idea, once again, is that we welcome Sarah Palin at every single campaign stop she makes -- if she's ever seen in public again -- with truckloads of lesbians in flannel and lipstick (all are welcome!) bearing signs declaring our fondness for her as a sex object: "Lesbians (Heart) Sarah Palin," "Hockey Dykes For Sarah Palin" and such.

But to hell with the idea of voting for this anti-woman woman. We just aren't SICK like that.

Despite Alaska being a place where, as it has been frequently pointed out, lesbian gaydar is essentially rendered useless (as the photo above illustrates quite well), it seems that women of all sexual orientations are not fond of their governor.

A friend forwarded me an e-mail packed with pictures of a large rally, by Anchorage standards, of women in opposition to Sarah Palin. With about 1,400 people in attendance, the e-mail's author claimed that this was the largest political rally ever held in Alaska's history. And yet, it has received scant attention from the media. Rather, what we hear repeatedly about Alaskans and Sarah Palin is that she has the "highest approval ratings" of any U.S. governor, said to be somewhere in the area of 80 percent.

However, these photos tell a story of a very vocal opposition to the well-manicured sex muffin that is Sarah Palin. And because Lesbians For Sarah Palin is ultimately an *anti* Sarah Palin site -- (have I made it clear enough, Bubba?) -- we are including these photos and urging you all to participate in Sarah Palin rallies of your own.

Please, above all, make a mockery of Republican politics and give it Sarah Palin anyway you like. Bubba simply requests you always state your admiration and sexual attraction for Sarah Palin with an asterisk. Specifically: "She's hot.*"

* But we sure as hell aren't voting for her.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Queer Girl Ode to Sarah Palin

The sound quality of this YouTube video isn't the best, thanks in part to being recorded in a bathroom, but the sweetness of this queer girl ode, "Me and Sarah Palin," hits just the right notes in the minds of Lesbians For Sarah Palin. ... But then, so does the "I Masturbated to Sarah Palin" video in the previous post. Enjoy! -LFSP

Monday, September 15, 2008

Sex, dreams and Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin hasn't shown up in *any* of my dreams yet, but I'm betting it's just a matter of time. Seems she's showing up in the nocturnal mind-wanderings of many others, however, as this Slate article reveals.

What I don't get is why Slate mentioned that "both men and straight women reported sexual fantasies involving the Alaska governor." Did not a single queer woman write to slate with a Sarah Palin Sex Dream? (If you have a dream, I encourage you to share it with all of us via the "Comments" link below.")

Maybe we're not dreaming about her because so many of us are out and talking about how sexy she is. She doesn't need to slip into awareness through our unconscious in the dark of night. She's a frontal lobe and limbic experience in broad daylight.

So I'm gathering, anyway, from the conversations I'm having with more and more queer women about her (and plenty of straight women, too). Just the other night at a gathering of several women, I listened to an attractive and *strong* African-American woman -- a personal trainer and massage therapist -- talk about how she'd be "happy to do Sarah Palin," with some rather vivid descriptions of her desire to make Sarah Palin "bite the pillow." (Might be easier to get her to "bite the bear hide," by the way.)

"Yeah, I'd do her alright," she said. "The question is, would she do me? I mean, I'm thinking, hey, while you're here, do a sister a favor, will you, and get down on it."

This about made a straight White woman in attendance nearly lose it. "Oh, c'mon! The lesbians *can't* be going for Sarah Palin. I mean, I know abortion isn't that much of an issue for y'all in terms of needing them, but still... you just can't be! That's crazy!"

"Did you listen to me?" the first woman asked. "I said I would DO Sarah Palin. That's not saying I'd have anything TO DO WITH HER when it was over. Big difference between giving her a piece of my action and giving that bitch my vote. I'm not crazy."

That said, I'm going to hit the hay now and see if perhaps tonight's the night. Calling Sarah Palin, calling Sarah Palin! If you come to me in a dream, let it be a dream worth coming. I'm thinking you've got a leather bustier under your librarian garb. Perhaps you'll let your hair down and show me a good time in the stacks?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Sarah Palin: Drama or Comedy?

Well, Sarah Palin scared the shit outta my sweet liberal heart this evening and yesterday in her interviews on ABC with Charlie Gibson. She was folksy and open, traits I tend to admire, but she was also strangely scripted at times and clearly out of her waters on matters of foreign policy. Despite her flubs, I am guessing that with "middle America" -- both as an actual place and in term of political outlook -- she probably scored pretty big.

From my perspective, Gibson soft-balled her several times. I mean, what WAS that dumb-ass question he asked her about queers: "Do you believe it's nature or nurture?" or something of that ilk. WHAT?! Who gives a shit? All Sarah Palin had to say to that one was, "I have no idea." She went on to add that she "won't judge" those who are on one side or other of that debate. She won't judge someone for having an opinion, is basically what she said. Well thank goodness, 'cause otherwise, that would mean she's opposed to the First Amendment, which pretty much needs to stay in place to protect her precious Second Amendment.

Why couldn't Gibson ask her: "Do you believe in cutting estate taxes for gay couples?"

Otherwise he kept trying to pin her feet to the fire -- and was generally unsuccessful because she held onto her campaign-aid scripted responses to policy questions with more tenacity than a lipstick-wearing pitbull holds onto a ham hock.

In any case, rather than running her interviews, here are two celebrity perspectives on Sarah Palin:

Ah. Matt Damon's soooo serious.

For lighter fare, below is Craig Ferguson's encounter with Sarah Palin several months ago, before he finally got his citizenship. The last minute of the video clip is classic Craig Ferguson -- PLUS he totally calls it on the "naughty librarian" bit that is, fundamentally, the raison d'etre for Lesbians For Sarah Palin.

On a more disturbing note, take a look at what her hands are doing when she designates Ferguson as an honorary citizen of Alaska.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Calling all 'Hockey Dykes' & other supporters

Bubba reminded me the other night that Lesbians For Sarah Palin needs to reach out to the right audience if we're going to get this little political action-performance art of ours to come to life in other cities than our own. Now that this blog is starting to be read across the country -- thanks mainly to readers who are forwarding the link to this blog and to those who have linked to it on their own websites (thanks!) -- it seems a good time to begin organizing.

But first, let's talk Hockey Dykes. Bubba suggested that "Hockey Lesbians" would be an appropriately adoring group of fans to attend Sarah Palin rallies bearing signs proclaiming the likes of "Hockey Dykes Love Sarah Palin," (sometimes with just the "heart" symbol in lieu of the word "love"). There are several reasons Hockey Dykes would be helpful in our cause:

No. 1 would be that, particularly in those queer-fear "red" states of the Midwest (and hello, Idaho!), it might take an especially tough girl to stand in a crowd of Republicans with her "Lesbians for Sarah Palin" sign. Seems a woman with a "Hockey Dyke for Sarah Palin" sign has a slightly smaller chance of being messed with by your average Republican nutbag. Not even crazy people want to pick fights with women who play hockey.

No. 2 would to highlight the fact that not only is Sarah Palin a "Hockey Mom," she also has a certain appeal to queer women who play hockey. One would reasonably have to wonder what that might be, of course. To that, all we can say is: Well, she's pretty goddamn hot!

I liked Bubba's idea, so I did a little research. Spent a while trawling around the Internet, looking for connections to spur local organizing in communities where the Palin-McCain campaign is making "public" appearances. I gotta say it wasn't easy. In fact, my search indicates that most, if not all, lesbian ice hockey teams are in Canada. I know what that says to me. What does it say to you? (For the record, this is what Canadian Hockey Dykes supposedly look like.)

So while we're still on the look for any and all lesbian hockey players who would like to join in the political mockery that is Lesbians For Sarah Palin, I'm thinking we'll have to expand that to include field hockey players, as well. That would actually help us pick up more sisters in the South anyway, where ice hockey is about as popular as Dennis Kucinich at a Klan rally.

Truth is that no matter what kind of lesbian you are, Lesbians For Sarah Palin welcomes you. Jewish Lesbians for Sarah Palin, Chicana Dykes for Sarah Palin, Geriatric Gay Ladies For Sarah Palin, Bisexuals for Sarah Palin, Bois for Sarah Palin -- all are welcome here (unlike so many other things associated with Republicans.)

(By the way, this site has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Log Cabin Republicans. And we intend to stay that way. If they send us a donation, rest assured we will return it. And no matter how much Pat Buchanan begs, he *cannot* be an honorary Lesbian For Sarah Palin. We have standards.)

So WHAT, exactly, are we asking you to do? Simple!

Our aim is to GREET SARAH PALIN on public campaign stops she makes to cities nationwide by waving posters or other types of signs proclaiming some variation of "Lesbians For Sarah Palin."

How? Well, that part is going to be up to local groups. The first step is to watch the websites of your state or local Republican Party. The "news" or "events" links on those sites often have information about upcoming campaign rallies at which the Palin-McCain campaign will make appearances.

Unless it's a completely public event, such as in a large city park, you can't really expect to be let into the rallies, particularly if you're carrying posters with the aforementioned verbiage. No matter what they say, Republicans are not fans of the First Amendment and will do whatever they can to stop you from disrupting their events with, well, ANY humor whatsoever, much less one that touches their wankers with equal parts "lesbians" and "Sarah Palin."

Fear of laughter and/or unwanted erections are two of the four pillars of the Republican Party platform. I think we all know this by now. That said, if you happen to find your way past the gates and walk into the Eyes Wide Shut-ness of the whole freaky Republicans-behind-closed-doors scene, don't hold us accountable for what you witness there. Consult a counselor if symptoms persist for six months or more, as you might have PTSD.

Difficulty getting into rallies may leave you on city streets outside the venue, along with other fans of Sarah Palin and various protesters. This is OK. Just keep your eyes open for signs of the local media, who usually do a sweep for "local color" at political events. At the sight of any limousine, Suburban or Hummer on the road, wave your signs with abandon and joyfully shout, "We love you, Sarah!" or whatever comes to you. Be spontaneous. It is art, after all!

When you catch the attention of the local media -- which, let's face it, "Lesbians For Sarah Palin" will draw at least one curious reporter -- let them know exactly why you're showing your love. "It's because she's hot," is pretty much all you need to say.

But if you want to get into a deeper political dialogue with the media -- let's face it, there's not much point in that -- go ahead and add one of the finer points on this political year when it comes to Palin-McCain '08, which is:

If John McCain actually wanted someone with capabilities and experience, he would have chosen the likes of Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson of Texas. Unfortunately, she looks like this and also supports a woman's right to choose whether or not she reproduces. Which, as we are all well aware, is not the same as the sizzling little hot pocket he selected, Sarah Palin.

As average men and women are noting far and wide across this fair land, Sarah Palin's main appeal is her appearance. "Take off those glasses," one politically progressive man told me at a party last weekend, "and she'd be scorching. But then, with the glasses, she's got that librarian thing going on. And what guy doesn't want to do a librarian? She'll get the votes just for that."

In this celebrity culture (and in her pink dress), Sarah Palin is the perfect star of the moment. She's photogenic, lithe and long-haired (often in that fashionably tossed bun) and at 44, she's relatively young by political standards. Even though she was mayor of her small town and has been governor of Alaska for two years, she's essentially come out of nowhere, much like Paris Hilton and the all-star cast that was on Survivor last season. Pretty heads, pretty bodies. Very little substance on the whole, but what we learn bit-by-bit would scare the shit out of us if we thought it was a real person actually doing a real thing. (Rather than just being, say, Britney Spears backing over paparazzi at a gas station.)

Sarah Palin, however, is a real person who could potentially be doing real things to our country. Lesbians For Sarah Palin simply seek to recognize her for what she is: One more beautiful face. As lesbians, unlike many heterosexual men who feel bound to public silence in the face of political correctness or fear of their wives, we are in the position to make this observation. If anyone should feel free both to point out objectification of women and take part in it, I say let it be the lesbians.

She's hot. So we'll tote our signs out to rallies and show our affection. But we sure as hell wouldn't vote for her. Bubba wants me to remind you all of that more often: Fantasize. (Imagine a little girl-on-girl action with the Commander-in-Chief amongst the stacks of the Library of Congress -- phew!) But don't vote for her.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Lesbians For Sarah Palin might love a gal with a gun, but do they wear Burberry?

As a lesbian feminist, I am torn in my love for Alaska's Sarah Palin, the vice presidential running mate for yet another ugly old white guy.

One the one hand, she is a girlicious governor who somehow manages to fill the role of several stereotypical female sex fantasies, all of which appeal to the lesbian in me. For example:

This image touches on all the same nerves that Angelina Jolie does when she's in the role of Laura Croft. Sex "pistol" is clearly too small for this woman.

And apparently I'm not the only one who sees the connection with Laura Croft (or perhaps Areala, Warrior Nun), as this gun-toting action figure going on sale in the next couple of days indicates. Hard not to notice the distinctly librarian undertones to this doll, as well. Must be the glasses.

So the hot chick who looks like she might let down her hair, throw off her glasses and kick your ass at any minute, now memorialized in plastic (kind of like Cindy McCain has done to herself without the action figure profits), is very appealing to my inner and outer lesbian. I want a Sarah Palin pin-up calendar for Christmas!

But the feminist in me is on alert because the truth about Sarah Palin is that she's a Trojan Horse. (Never mind that her persistent pregnancies indicate she has no idea how to actually use a Trojan.)

She's a Trojan Horse because what you see on the outside -- a woman who's attractive to men, lesbians, dominatrix-librarians and the guys who star on Deadliest Catch alike -- is not at all what you find on the inside.

On the inside, it would seem there is a woman who hates the woman within her. I tend to think this about women who register and vote Republican in general. But Sarah Palin seems to hate herself with a peculiar vengeance.

Hates herself enough not to respect her own right to determine whether she reproduces or not -- EVEN IF SHE'S RAPED, and even if that rape is at the hands of a male relative like, say, her own father. Anyone who would insist that a survivor of rape or incest who ends up pregnant as a result of those crimes should carry the fetus to full-term is obscenely out of touch with what your average American thinks about a woman's right to choose.

As my friend The Florist noted the other day, it would seem that in addition to Lesbians For Sarah Palin following the woman around to her campaign stops, we might also reasonably expect to see Children of Rape For Sarah Palin. Not to mention Children of Incest For Sarah Palin.

And she seems to hate her 17-year-old daughter enough to wrangle her into a shotgun wedding with a teenage boy. Is this not the 21st Century? Haven't we gotten past the part where we force children to marry each other to hide the "shame" of premarital sex? Guess what, governor? We ALREADY KNOW your daughter did not take and uphold vows to "save herself for marriage." Don't pressure her to marry the dude, as well.

But then Gov. Palin is a woman who knows how to use a gun. So there's probably a reason the teen parents-to-be aren't protesting too much.

There are more political affronts Sarah Palin has made against women, lesbians in particular, but the final aspect of her Trojan Horse nature is her appeal to two other groups of voters who often feel disenfranchised in presidential campaigns. I'm talking about Gay men and suburban straight women.

Morocco Molé, keeping life queer in a central California farming community, admitted to me that he is "drawn in" and "charmed" by Sarah Palin. "I really like her style," he said. "I wouldn't actually vote for the crazy bitch, but I am grateful that there's finally someone in the Republican Party who can do glam without looking like Linda Evans with a hangover after a Dynasty cast party. Oh, did I *really* say that about Cindy McCain? Let's see. Mmmm-hmmm."

Similarly, a soft-spoken, cardigan-wearing straight female colleague of mine who lives in the suburbs, is having a hard time stabilizing her feelings about Sarah Palin. (We'll call my colleague Cookie Queen in honor of a gift she bestowed upon me last week.) So this is what happened last week when Cookie Queen overheard me talking to another female colleague about Lesbians For Sarah Palin:

Me to the colleague: I knew McCain was going to have to go with a woman or person of color to counterbalance Obama's choice of Joe Biden, another old white guy. But I thought maybe an Alberto Gonzalez type because the only Republican woman who comes to mind is Elizabeth Dole. I mean, who knew there was actually a hot young librarian birth-giving governor up in Alaska? Has there ever been a governor who's given birth in office before her? Did I mention, too, that she's HOT?

Cookie Queen, from across a few cubes in the office: "Hey!"

For a moment I think: Uh, oh. Busted for inappropriate sexual innuendo in the office. I look through a window in a cube wall and say, Yes?

Cookie Queen, or CQ for short, leans forward and stage-whispers: "You know what I don't get? All the talking heads on television -- and I mean ALL of them, most of them being men who are all talking over each other and driving me crazy with that -- are avoiding the subject, you know. They aren't saying anything about her looks. All they talk about on TV is how she made all these good points in her speech. Well, I listened to that speech, and you know what? She didn't make any points. All she did was talk trash about her opponents."

Me: Fancy that. Impoverished discourse about politics in our nationally broadcast media....

CQ: "I'm sorry but I've heard the guys talking ever since they saw that Sarah Palin on TV for the first time. You know what all of them are saying? 'Who wouldn't want to tap that?' That's what they're saying. Behind the scenes, it's ALL about her looks. So I don't believe those guys in the media for a minute when they talk about how she is with the 'issues.' Please. Look at her."

Me: If you think that, you might enjoy this blog I just started.

CQ gets up to look at this site, which is open on my colleague's computer. She sits down at the monitor and begins quickly scrolling through the first article, not reading it. She is only looking at the pictures.

Suddenly, she comes to a screeching stop at this photo. "Oh look!" CQ says excitedly, "she's wearing Burberry! I like that!"

I blink. Did I not just hear CQ critique the matter of how Sarah Palin-as-Sex-Bomb is being "overlooked" by the mainstream media? Can Burberry make a straight woman turn on a dime like that? Apparently, it can; it happened right in front of me.

Trojan Horse, I mutter. Trojan-fucking-Horse.

But damn, she's hot.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sexy Sarah Palin can "shatter the shit outta that glass ceiling" with her big fat gun

Courtesy of the guys who do the "Red State Update," we find exactly where hillbillies and lesbians intersect:

First is in the open acknowledgment that Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin is STEAMING HOT, particularly when she's doing something butch like shooting her gun, breaking down a moose she just killed or getting ready to gut a fish. And yet, at the same time, she's got that librarian "take-her-on-the-tundra" thing going on. How can one woman be sexy to so many? (More on that to come.)

Second is in the honest-to-goodness difficulty in telling the difference between a lesbian and a "beauty queen" in Alaska. (Truth be told, it's difficult in the Pacific Northwest, too. That commentary will be forthcoming, as well.)

In the meantime, enjoy this:

Unwed teenage moms

One of the things I've noticed in the media melee that is coverage of presidential politics is how QUICKLY the media hushed up about Sarah Palin's 17-year-old unwed pregnant daughter, Bristol.

Supposedly, this is a media "tradition," wherein the media doesn't maim, gore and eat the young offspring of politicians. For that, we can all be thankful. That poor girl being readied for her shotgun wedding even as we speak already has enough to deal with given the rumors that the little child she was toting around at the RNC was actually hers, not that of her sultry and seductive librarianesque governor-mom. No teenage girl needs to live with that kind of shit. It just ain't right.

But I've got a few questions:

First, what kind of "family"-oriented mother exposes her teenage daughter to this kind of media scrutiny by accepting the nomination? If teenage girls don't already have enough to give them oh-m'god-i'm-totally-going-to-DIE fits, this surely is a horror show beyond horror shows for a pregnant 17-year-old.

Unless you might be someone else's daughter.

Which brings me to my next question: Say it had been Barak and Michelle Obama with a 17-year-old daughter who managed to be five months pregnant at this point in the campaign. What would the talking heads on Fox and other media be saying about the situation? Do you honestly think they would have gone so mum on the subject this quickly? Do you honestly think they'd be honoring that "media tradition" of leaving alone the youngsters of political families?

Or would we be hearing the same noxious rhetoric they tend to spout off when it comes to teen pregnancy? Would we be hearing about absent parents? Lack of religious or moral values in the family? Another generation of "welfare moms" -- only now in the White House?

Think about it.

What would the media say about the prospect of an unwed black teenage mom living in the White House? Quite a bit more, I imagine, than what we're hearing about Bristol being in the baby way.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The beginning

Dinner tonight with my queer gal pal Bubba and her Lady Lawyer Love, and we're talking shop. Bubba is being stalked, Lady Lawyer is redrafting an article for a legal journal, and I'm advising as how she might appropriately haze some fresh-outta-school, top-of-his-class boy lawyer who has joined her firm.

We're in a little Irish pub where we've come specifically for the fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I'm polishing off a Guinness, and both of the other girls are drinking pints of a chocolate stout. We are eating the same thing, drinking dark and heavy beers, and we're all bleary-eyed. Dead tired, we are.

Suddenly, Bubba breaks in to the conversation: "Oh, look, there she is!" She points to the TV above the bar. "That Sarah Palin is fucking HOT!"

I spin in my seat, looking over my shoulder at the TV. My first glimpse of her. It only lasts a second.

"Isn't she fucking HOT?" Bubba asks.

"She was the woman they just showed?" I ask, double-checking. "The one who looked like a, ... a librarian?"

Bubba nods, an enthusiastic grin on her face. "Uh, huh! Like a librarian! Whoa, baby, that woman is steaming hot. If she were a Democrat, lesbians would be all over her!"

"With a tight little number like that," I reply, "seems like Lesbians should be on her no matter what. I mean, please: Obama is smart and good looking, but any lesbian in her right mind will be tuning into the vice presidential debates to get an eyeful of that tarty little librarian. Please..."

"I don't know," Lady Lawyer says. "She's kinda whiney sounding. She whines. And it's a whiney whine."

"But you gotta admit that she's freaking HOT," Bubba says. (This to her own lovely girlfriend, by the way.)

Lady Lawyer shrugs. "Yeah, she's cute. But she's still whiney."

Lady Lawyer then excuses herself for a trip to the loo, leaving Bubba and I to our estrogen-inflamed passion for the uptight quirky little Republican nominee for Vice President.

For the record, she once was a Miss Alaska beauty pageant participant, as this photo I hitched from Google images shows.

Bubba and I decided right then that we would start this website advocating that our lesbian sisters nationwide turn out in DROVES at all presidential campaign pit stops where Sarah Palin appears. Arrive with large signs openly proclaiming, "Lesbians For Sarah Palin." Let's be out and proud about it, my sisters!

We wanted Hillary, this is true. We were enchanted by her pantsuit collection and its perfect imitation of corporate lesbian power suits. We also preferred her politics, what with her actually GIVING A SHIT about a woman's right to decide what happens in her reproductive system (even with Chelsea having made it through adolescence without getting pregnant). We also liked just about every other damn thing Hillary stood for, minus her support of the war.

But Hillary simply lacks the complete and utter BABE factor that Sarah Palin has, what with her prim little bun and glasses counterbalanced by those lush and shiny lips. Heaven knows, she's utterly delicious compared to plastic-looking Cindy McCain in every respect. (To be sure, Michelle Obama is a pretty sweet looking lady; no intention to dis her here.)

But here's the catch: Palin does HOT DYKE better than any woman associated with the campaign. In the Bush campaigns, we had a decidedly NOT-Hot dyke in Karen Hughes. (Pictured as something of a sour-puss in the photo below.)

Yes, that is the look of an unhappy oft-mistaken-for-a-NOT-hot dyke right there. Just so we can tell the difference.

Because what you see below says what any lesbian needs to know about Sarah Palin. God bless her, and God bless these United States of America that we could have such a woman as Vice President. How yummy is that?

Therefore, Bubba and I are requesting that our Lesbian and Bi Sisters unite in our cause to bring awareness -- among queers and straights nationwide -- of the incredible attraction Sarah Palin holds for so many queer women.

Let's show her all the lesbian love we can muster in this campaign. (And be very, very visible with it girls.)

But let's NOT A SINGLE DAMN ONE of us vote for her.

'Cause to vote for her? That would be a SICK KIND OF LOVE, and as we all know, ours is not a sick love.