Monday, September 15, 2008

Sex, dreams and Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin hasn't shown up in *any* of my dreams yet, but I'm betting it's just a matter of time. Seems she's showing up in the nocturnal mind-wanderings of many others, however, as this Slate article reveals.

What I don't get is why Slate mentioned that "both men and straight women reported sexual fantasies involving the Alaska governor." Did not a single queer woman write to slate with a Sarah Palin Sex Dream? (If you have a dream, I encourage you to share it with all of us via the "Comments" link below.")

Maybe we're not dreaming about her because so many of us are out and talking about how sexy she is. She doesn't need to slip into awareness through our unconscious in the dark of night. She's a frontal lobe and limbic experience in broad daylight.

So I'm gathering, anyway, from the conversations I'm having with more and more queer women about her (and plenty of straight women, too). Just the other night at a gathering of several women, I listened to an attractive and *strong* African-American woman -- a personal trainer and massage therapist -- talk about how she'd be "happy to do Sarah Palin," with some rather vivid descriptions of her desire to make Sarah Palin "bite the pillow." (Might be easier to get her to "bite the bear hide," by the way.)

"Yeah, I'd do her alright," she said. "The question is, would she do me? I mean, I'm thinking, hey, while you're here, do a sister a favor, will you, and get down on it."

This about made a straight White woman in attendance nearly lose it. "Oh, c'mon! The lesbians *can't* be going for Sarah Palin. I mean, I know abortion isn't that much of an issue for y'all in terms of needing them, but still... you just can't be! That's crazy!"

"Did you listen to me?" the first woman asked. "I said I would DO Sarah Palin. That's not saying I'd have anything TO DO WITH HER when it was over. Big difference between giving her a piece of my action and giving that bitch my vote. I'm not crazy."

That said, I'm going to hit the hay now and see if perhaps tonight's the night. Calling Sarah Palin, calling Sarah Palin! If you come to me in a dream, let it be a dream worth coming. I'm thinking you've got a leather bustier under your librarian garb. Perhaps you'll let your hair down and show me a good time in the stacks?

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